Reasons I Love You
Sharing one of my favorite family traditions and encouraging you to make it one of yours!
We do this in February for Valentine’s Day, but it could also be done for a birthday or “just because.” Each morning from the first of the month until the predetermined end date, you’ll leave a note with a“Reason Why I Love You.” for your loved one to find. I do this with my kids, but you can literally do this with anyone who you want to connect with and give some love to.
Choose a start day and end day to determine the number of notes that you are going to write. And then come up with one unique thing for each day that celebrates a reason why you love them or how you feel around them . You aren’t writing “I love you!”, you are writing “I love the way you…”
The difference? Even though you can never say or hear “I love you” too much, it can lose some of it’s power and meaning. A personal sentence that tells someone why you love them not only makes them feel loved, but strengthens their confidence and security in the relationship.
FILLING UP THEIR HEARTS
As you are writing your notes, really try to get to the heart of what you are trying to communicate through those three simple words. Consider the types of things that help people feel loved or the types of things that are important for our loved ones to know: They are seen; they are heard; they are valued; they have good qualities; they don’t need to change to be worthy of love; you enjoy being around them; they make your life better.
Here are examples of sentences that capture some of those qualities:
My world is better with you in it.
I am lucky to be your parent.
I love watching you grow & getting to know you.
I am grateful you are my child
I love every part of you
I love spending time with you
I am proud of the person you arE
You make my heart feel full
I love when you share your feelings with me
I love being a part of your team
I love that we can trust each other
I love the way you challenge me to think differently
Being around you makes me happy
I love listening to you talk about your day
I wouldn’t change a thing about you
Your smile makes me smile
MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL
For an even more powerful impact, make your statements specific and personal. They will focus on process over outcome – celebrating the work that they put into the goal more than the achievement of the goal. They should be authentic and true. They will focus on character traits and attributes – ones that are strong and ones that you see them working to strengthen. Provide examples.
For Example:
I love it when you…
I love watching you be a good big brother, like when you help Susie make her lunch.
I love listening to you talk about Pokemon
Try to come up with a variety of statements that celebrate different attributes and characteristics.
Statements that reinforce your bond are also a great way to make them feel loved / valued / important / connected. Shared memories, pointing out what you like to do together, or affirming how they make you feel can all help.
GET CRAFTY
Once you have them ready, it’s time to share them! My approach is pretty simple: cut out some paper hearts, write my sentences and tape one to the door each night. Craft stores make it easy for us less artsy people— and it is so much more about what it says than how it looks!
But just like there are many ways to share are love, there are many ways to approach this tradition! I’ve made a free toolkit with fillable templates, blank templates, sentence starters, tips for teens and siblings and some creative ways to share your notes.
Missed Valentine’s Day? Doesn’t matter! There is never a wrong time to make someone feel loved!
Fillable templates for “Reasons I Love You” connection activity. Includes sentence starters, blank templates and lots of ideas. Notes are sized to work for jar activity, note activity or paper chain.
